A Marketer’s Shopping Confession!

I survived it!Yep, I lived to tell the tale!Well, at first I wasn’t sure I would make it…but I’m glad to report that I came away unscathed!My wife woke me up Friday at 4 in the morning to go Black Friday shopping. Yes, I was reluctant! In fact, you could call what I did something close to kicking and screaming.Our first mission…as she called it…was to attack Walmart!Now, if you know me, you would realize that this alone was cause enough for physical violence on my part…as I disdain everything Walmart stands for, and yet, here I was being cajoled into walking through enemy lines with nothing but my wife to shield me.I started to panic…the shear volume of husbands, boyfriends and divorced fathers following their loved ones into this evil madness was disheartening…you could tell they were lost souls in a sea of confusion. Black Friday is the one day of the year we men reluctantly hand over our wallets for the benefit of humankind.My wife’s list was small, only a few items needed, and I thought cool, in and out in no time. Then I saw the line. It snaked around aisles and racks and into the garden department. Oh my gosh! Shoot me now I uttered! The line to pay for our treasured booty was like a mile long. They should have put a sign that said, “1 hour from this point”! UGGH!As we inched closer to the register my wife whispered in my ear…only 4 more places to go and we are home. I looked at my watch and it was almost 6 am. I had been on this stupid ride for almost 2 hours…I’m not gonna make it…but no way did I want to die in this store.We finally made it to the register. I looked back and saw all the doe-eyed people in the store staring back, I could tell by the way they looked at me they desperately wanted to scream, “help me” at the top of their lungs.WOOHOO! I breathed a sigh of relief as we were about to walk out to freedom.Or so I thought!Walmart gestapo stopped us short. I felt like a P.O.W! They grabbed my arm and scanned my bags with a hand held detector. I thought for sure they were going to give me an airport style pat down. One of the sensors on a product we bought was never deactivated by our cashier and we were punished for it. Not really punished, more like embarrassed.After being thoroughly humiliated, we were cleared to go on our way.Only to succumb to the same line waiting at Five Below. Yet, this was more like torture as the aisles were not wide enough to allow passage of shoppers and line holders at the same time.Another hour passed!Okay, this is ridiculous…I teach others how to maximize their time and here I am being a victim to some stupid tradition.I won’t bore you with the rest of the day…I’ll will say that after 8 hours, my time wasn’t being used properly…my wife said we saved hundreds of dollars…I say phewey!I believe this is the very reason why they invented the internet…so people wouldn’t have to wait in lines on Black Friday. Yep, just turn on your computer, click a few links and whamo…purchase done!Time management and cash savings don’t always go hand and hand, but learning how to maximize your time will help you minimize wasted spending.Now as this is the Monday after Black Friday…this is the perfect day to pick up bargains galore…not at any brick and mortar store…no way! This day my friend is call Cyber Monday.But, as opposed to Black Friday where you are forced to fight your way through crowds to save a buck, Cyber Monday is just the opposite…no crowds, no lines, great deals…the ultimate time management saving day.Everything my wife bought on Black Friday, I could have found on the internet, bought and paid for in under an hour…no lines, no driving anywhere, no mobs of people, no wasted day, no stress and no fear of dying in a store.Learn to be savvy with your time. Have a plan! Know your objectives!